
The shell of Chelle #StarfishClub #WritingCommunity #PoetryCommunity #PoetHub #Coffeeandachat
The shell of
my protection
My walls
My barriers
Compromised so many times
Left me raw
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally
Each time my mind
Blocked out
Fazed out
Numb devoid of feeling
For I froze
For I fought
For I flew
For I flopped
Having to reset myself each time
I pretended it never happened
Yet the shock over my body each time I see their faces on a film real before my eyes
Smells haunting chanting voices the acts themselves
Choice removed
My voice severed and cut each time over
For I sit and say my mind reacted diffently
Not knowing how to compute it
My mind destroying all its modes of survival for I had to use up every reserve each and every time
The tsunami of visuals stripped bare in each
This soul faced whose eyes are haunted for I see them all the time
Weeping in fear
Weeping in Guilt
Weeping in shame
Yet I faced and face all demons to date
Who do I trust
Privacy rights invaded so many times
I have to release
I have to fight to stand up
Ever each time I stood up after
Yet still I remain here
Looking at the aggressors eyes of many
All masqued and cloaked themselves all wearing sheep’s clothing
One held me down by my throat yet this was nothing in comparison
For All played the games played to my mind
Though no tears fall
now the scars are there
I still smell the smells of each etched in my minds eye
I wash it off yet still the smell remains it’s just there
For my eye cried that fairytales lied to me
I have had to mend myself on each and every layer
Yet I remind myself I am alive
Yet I remind myself I survived
Yet I remind myself not all are the same not all as lucky
Cloaked and uncloaked matters not to me now
For I have learned
I will always have a right to feel safe
I will always have the right to assert my own bouandries
I will always have the right to mend myself.
© all rights reserved by the author MEJ 2020
For I turned them into friends
Posted in: email: myfanwy80@yahoo.com