I get up everytime by mej #StarfishClub @coffeeandachat1 #PoetryHub #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #Poetry #PTSD

The images though they haunt

Though my eyes roll to the backs of my head to trip and fall

Get up I do each and everytime

Though my mind blacks out

The shock that shuts me off to find accidents

To the floor I find myself

Yet bounce back I do

Bounce back I live

Bounce back I flow

For each time I find new depths of shock

Flashbacks night tremors every reaction of shock I have felt and stayed in

Fight

Flight

Freeze

Friend

Flop

New triggers

New relapse indicators

New self awareness

This journey hard to hold alone but did it I did

held it I did and flowed I did shine I do

Strip bare each thread of pain to examine

Let go to release with love

To release the pain

To pour in more love to thee within

For to Release with forgiveness with heart filled balloons to say sorry to myself

For protection of the self

My proportionate part of blame is 5% for recognising my shock in such challenging situations this is my freedom to release them all one by one

Releasing the others for there are to many more to explore for pain and promiscuity ravaged this shock filled self in the unconventional variety not quite text book

Though I stand here to share with you to say

I survived

I live

I am alive

I am an empress of my own life story

For in my life’s story is where I behold thine crown

For here now

Is my kingdom of heaven

That I’ve manifested to create

For this was the promise to the self

Kindness to the self

I offer to thine self

kind thoughts of patience

Consistent temperance

Nurturingly attentive to the language of the mind

For befall the self vessel

I paint thine costume of thine self my gown with thine crown

I stand before you showing you my wounds and scars for this is the first time in 18 years I have lived to remember in all this time

So I stand here to tell

You I live to face another day

And I am stronger for this

©all rights reserved to the author Mej 2020

For they all showed me what they wanted me to become

A woman of substance I tryely aim to be

For we all are worthy of this

©all rights reserved by the author mej 2020

Leave a Reply