Handful of traumas? Wrong again by Michelle 💫 #StarfishClub #Bipolar #PTSD #PoetsHub #WritingCommunity #BraveWrite #poetry

If only

If only there was one

Handful of traumas

I would consider

myself better off

Than now for

more there lays

Like dominos

All Aligned

And yet

So many more

Now I see

Underestimating the quantity

The numbers

Assaults

Abuse

This vessel

witnessed

Judgements

Felt

Noted

So much Pain

shock ravaged this soul

Bipolar promiscuity

Bit it’s ugly course

safety boundaries admonished

In this heightened mood’d sight

Wrong chemicals firing

For this is a lifelong Condition

Yet tools I now have 19yrs on

To still and temper the bipolar beast

For it was in the hundreds

Short term memory

wiped

Dizzy appearance

Underhand subtleties

Catch and nip their bites

So flight course is always adapted

Now.

Yet then;

A black abyss within this minds eye for the self was lost so I thought

The disgust the contamination

the shame

the fear

the guilt

The resentment

All at myself

The plans of end life

For days weeks months years in end.

From the high while always I fearing the low

Yet now I am working through each one over one admonishing similar ones yet more appear.

End in sight

With rainbows aligned.

© Michelle JAN-2021