The hidden Disability by Michelle #MentalHealthMatters #StarfishClub #LGBTQIA2021 #Antisemitism #BlackLivesMatter #Justice4HTCV8 #poem #PoetsHub #WrtingCommunity

Bipolar; lay rife,

All boundaries

All safety mechnisms

All intuitions

Obliterated.

Bipolar

Ptsd

Stockholm Syndrome.

Tsunami of all abuse

Gas lighting

But one of familiar battlegrounds

I stood.

Explicit Photos; uploaded without my knowledge.

Yet laughed on everyone did.

Excommunication, shunned.

Humiliation yet again

Degradation yet again

Silence and laughter ensued;

At my ill’d behaviours.

Yet; promiscuity was how my shock presented

And bound with a symptom too with my hidden disability;

A lifelong condition.

Diagnosed in early adult life.

For I appeared well in my worst moments of mania and hypo mania

Clutching at image to project wellness was all I had.

For the Manias did not wish to be fixed.

Yet here I stand today;

When the clutches of despair warranted

this soul not just for a day or a week

but many years clumped together.

Many skills acquired to spot my triggers in me that are my keys to up my skills.

For now I read myself,

Now I know myself

For I know the very worst

And I know the very best of me

For with these; keys&skills of stability

I have now;

unlocked unconditional love;

To myself;

which showers and bestows

authentic kindness to self to bring to others.

For I know I am not alone who have faced similar.

© Michelle FEB-2021